When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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