I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
