well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
