you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
