Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
