the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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