Sponge bath it is.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
