I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
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Still dying that you shit outside
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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