last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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