i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
