You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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