I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
