Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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