At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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