God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe