Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts