Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.