Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.