I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.