Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?