He is an equal opportunity slut.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
