I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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