i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize