She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
