Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
