we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my shit smells like andre
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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