That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
