If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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