Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
