some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
