just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
