i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
