Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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