? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
