Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
