..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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