I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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