Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
