Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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