True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I believe in your delicious
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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