these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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