Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
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Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize