I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
