Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
