I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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