idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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