there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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