A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
