i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize