I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
