i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
