but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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