I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
