A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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