She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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