omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
