So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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