Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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