Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
