I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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