just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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