i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
