I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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