Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
